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The Secret to Finding the Right One

Relationship Secrets-2

The Secret to Finding the Right One


Issue #1: We date with our eyes closed.

Most couples on the brink of marriage are more interested in planning a beautiful wedding than honestly assessing their relationship.


Issue #2: We believe myths about love and marriage.


Divorce is nothing more than the result of two people lacking the skills and preparation to navigate the inevitable storms of marriage.


One of the biggest myths about love is that love is a feeling.


Love is a command: God commands us to love.


Matthew 5:44 But I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,


Agape love is a permanent decision of the will, not based on emotion.


Romans 5:8 But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.


Another dangerous myth about love is that somewhere out there is your one true love-your “soul mate.”


I Corinthians 7:39 A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord.


2 Corinthians 6:14 Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?


It is not true that if you marry the right person, the emotions will happen naturally and effortlessly throughout your marriage.


One Thing to Know: A great marriage isn’t two compatible soul mates living together in harmony. A great marriage is made with two incompatible people that go through hell together and come out the other side best friends.


Another wrong thought is that if my emotions change toward my spouse, I must have married the wrong person.


Another wrong thought on emotions is that if I no longer have emotions or feel like I have fallen out of love, there is no way to get the love back.


Revelation 2:4-5 You have forsaken the love you had at first. Consider how far you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first.


Feelings follow actions. Actions follow thoughts. Change your thoughts and actions and your feelings will also change.


A last myth about love is that “love conquers all.”


Issue #3: We don’t recognize red flags when we see them.


1. Control Issues.

2. Physical or Verbal Abuse.

3. Anger Issues.


Ephesians 4:26-28 “In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.

4. Dishonesty.

5. A pattern of conflict.

6. An overdependence on parents.

7. Mood swings

8. An air of disrespect

9. Dysfunctional family

Thing to Do: Look over each issue I brought up and after prayer and consideration, determine if you should move forward or break it off.