Rule #1: No elbowing.
Rule #2: No whispering in the other’s ear saying-“That’s you” or “He’s talking about you!”
Rule #3: No fighting on the way home.
Rule #4: Don’t use whatever I say to tell the other person about their sin.
Rule #5: Use this message to say, “Dear, I think this area is my sin; what do you think?”
What comes out of our mouth has the power to save us or destroy us.
Proverbs 18:20-21 From the fruit of their mouth a person’s stomach is filled; with the harvest of
their lips they are satisfied. The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it
will eat its fruit.
Matthew 12:27 "For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be
condemned."
Destroyer #1: Passive-aggressive communication is when we communicate negative feelings
or beliefs in an indirect, negative, and dishonest manner.
Destroyer #2 of Communication: Punishing Silence and Withdrawal.
Destroyer #3 of Communication: Unloading is where you get rid of all your negative
emotions in one shot.
Destroyer #4 of Communication is criticism and dishonor.
Sarcasm is anger is the form of humor.
Ephesians 4:29-30 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is
helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And
do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.
Ephesians 5:4,6 Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of
place, but rather thanksgiving. Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of such
things God's wrath comes on those who are disobedient.
Psalm 100:4 Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him
and praise his name.
Destroyer # 5 of Communication is verbal abuse.
2 Samuel 6:20 When David returned home to bless his household, Michal daughter of Saul came
out to meet him and said, “How the king of Israel has distinguished himself today, going around
half-naked in full view of the slave girls of his servants as any vulgar fellow would!”
2 Samuel 6:23 And Michal daughter of Saul had no children to the day of her death.
Destroyer # 6 of Communication is manipulation.
Destroyer #7 of Communication is dishonesty and lying.
Foundation #1: Be honest and be direct in your communication.
Ephesians 4:25-27 Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his
neighbor, for we are all members of one body. "In your anger do not sin": Do not let the sun go
down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.
Foundation #2 of Healthy Communication: Be careful and gentle in the way that you deal
with your emotions and problems.
Foundation #3: Don’t go to bed on your anger.
"In your anger do not sin", "Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give
the devil a foothold."
Ephesians 4:31-32 "Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with
every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in
Christ God forgave you."
There is a difference between hearing and listening.
Step #1 to focusing on the other person: Get rid of distractions.
Step #2 to focusing on the other person: Don’t think about other things when the other
person is talking.
Step #3 to focusing on the other person: Eye contact.
